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Firstly, I would like to inform my fellow Desis that I am Batman’s secret weapon. The secrecy is due to the fact that Batman refuses to show me to public, claiming that I am not yet ready for the eyes of the world. He also mutters to himself that being Batman means to protect the people, not cause them to be blinded. Apparently, he thinks my beauty is too much for mankind to handle. I am probably one of the most skilled people that you will meet in your life. When I dance, my sprinkler move is said to make grass grow right before your mere mortal eyes. Batman warns me not to sneeze, reminding me of what had occurred last time I did so. I would like to sincerely apologize to the victims of Hurricane Katrina, I promise to never forget my Claritin again. Oh, while on the topic of apologies, I would also like to apologize from the bottom of my heart to the owners of the Leaning Tower of Pisa, I was simply trying to catch my breath, I swear. Finally, I’d like to apologize to everyone for bringing Edward Cullen and his family into the world. I was trying to make replicas of Frankenstein, but I guess I used too much glitter. I am also brilliant at making friends. One scenario was when my great friend, the Emperor of Atlantis, had once invited me to his majestic kingdom. As I stepped on the island, a strange disaster had occurred, the entire kingdom sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Although many lives were lost, I naturally floated to the top, thus surviving. They say that long distance strengthens a friendship. You can only imagine how close the Emperor and I are, considering our lack of contact for the past couple hundred years. Moving on, I wanted to tell the world that I’m quite tired of listening to people say the Force is with them. I believe that it’s time to explain to you all that I can only visit you once or at max. twice a year, I’m not omnipresent, you know. When I was 11, I went to Hogwarts. Being the first person to test the teleportation system from the train station to Hogwarts itself, I had somehow managed to damage it. Now, everyone has to use the boats to row across the lake. After breaking their efficient sorting system (that sorted at least five students at a time) in consequence, forcing them to use that ancient hat, Dumbledore then saw it fit to take me aside and explain that maybe Hogwarts is just not the place for me to be. I was ok with that, considering I had already gotten an acceptance to a secret school where I proceeded to teach a few students such as Chuck Norris and Superman. They went on to becoming famous, leaving me in the shadows. I believe I have taught them everything, except for my modesty. I guess one can only attain a fraction of my godliness. Speaking of ol’ Albert Einstein, I believe that it is my duty to remind you all of the failure in Einstein’s high school career. I can’t imagine why, considering how he sat next to me, and copied all of my papers throughout the entire year. Don’t worry though, I passed. My teachers apparently believed that it would be better to let me pass than to have me influence the younger generation. It doesn’t cease to surprise me of the horrible tastes of people’s music (The songs of a certain dirty blond 16 year old Canadian that I will not mention at the moment) I can assure the world that I sing much better—Even Helen Keller though so. Even before Steve Jobs came up with the idea of an iPod, I had already created the iPad. I then decided not to release it due to its humiliating name. Apparently, Jobs did not have that problem. Not only am I multi-talented (including being multilingual and a wizard-ninja-runner), but I also write. I started with my brilliant story of Pride and Prejudice, but obviously, my assistant Jane had taken all of the credit. Currently, I am working on a small piece on a small website: http://www.wattpad.com/user/pinkbatman_13. And always remember, guitar playing, beastly running, awesomely random, British loving, Jack Johnson obsessive, brilliantly writing, extremely cool, superhero chicks are the best (: Oh, and adding to my list of awesomeness, I'm brown. And in the picture, I sparkle. And I look more legit than Edwardina Cullen ever will. For more information: http://therunner13.tumblr.com/ is another way to keep track of my amazingly, brilliantly, awesome life. Or you could just message me [Only if you have something life threatening or you MUST contact Batman.] PS: Buddy the Elf was wondering what your favorite color is. Mine’s BROWN. Randomness is a gift.