Polish Divorce

A Polish man moved to the U.S. and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well, until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him, “very quick.” 

The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions: 

Lawyer: “Have you any grounds?” 

Polish Man: “Ja, Ja, acre and half and nice little home.” 

Lawyer: “No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?” 

Polish Man: “It made of concrete.” 

Lawyer: “Does either of you have a real grudge?” 

Polish Man: “No, we have carport, and not need one.” 

Lawyer: “I mean, What are your relations like?” 

Polish Man: “All my relations still in Poland.” 

Lawyer: “Is there any infidelity in your marriage?” 

Polish Man: “Ja, we have hi-fidelity stereo set and good DVD player.” 

Lawyer: Does your wife beat you up?” 

Polish Man: “No, I always up before her.” 

Lawyer: “Is your wife a nagger?” 

Polish Man: “No, she white.” 

Lawyer: “Why do you want this divorce?” 

Polish Man: “She going to kill me.” 

Lawyer: “What makes you think that?” 

Polish Man: “I got proof. 

Lawyer: “What kind of proof?” 

Polish Man: “She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read and it say, Polish Remover.”

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